Week Thirteen: Exploring Respect

I was contemplating the theme of self-love the other day, and the idea of respect dropped into my mind. I was actually thinking of a person I admire a great deal and about how I feel when I’m around her. Then, my mind drifted to how I interact with people I respect and I began to think about whether I treat myself with the same kind of respect I give to others. One of the deepest parts of my healing journey has been an increasingly-available experience of self-acceptance and self-love. Along with these feelings has come a capacity to think of, and treat myself with, the kind of respect and care I used to only offer to others.

Because this shift has made a big difference in the quality of my internal life, I’d like to offer the theme as an experiment for this week. Think of a person you hold in high esteem. Then, think about how you treat them – or would treat them – if you were interacting together, how you think about them, your spontaneous responses to them. Run through a few scenarios of what kind of language you would use with this person, what kinds of facial expression and body language you would automatically convey, what quality of thoughts and feelings you would have toward this person, and of the tone and quality of your actions toward this person. Give yourself a few minutes to develop an awareness of how you would treat, and feel about, someone you respect this much. You might draw on a memory of a time when you actually were with this person and acted in ways that you knew conveyed your deep respect for him or her. Or, if you haven’t actually had a chance to interact with the person in ways that would convey your deep respect for them, take a few moments to imagine what you would do if you could express yourself in this way.

Now imagine that this is the way you treat yourself everyday. Imagine that you have the same attitude and quality of interaction with yourself as you have with this person you respect so deeply. Notice how you feel about this possibility. Notice any mixed feelings that may come up when you imagine treating yourself with respect. Run through a few scenarios with you as the person you treat with respect. How would you talk to yourself? What attitude would you hold toward yourself, and what would be the quality of your thoughts about you? What actions would you take to convey respect to yourself?

When we treat others with respect, they can feel our attitude and intention toward them. When we treat ourselves with respect, we are the recipients our own good will. We deserve no less. As you practice treating yourself with respect, notice how you feel about yourself as you enter the day, how you feel in the world, and in your interactions with others.

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