Week Thirty: The Butterfly Hug

There’s a therapy approach I use as part of my repertoire of tools called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It’s a trauma treatment model and, over the years, therapists using it have made some important and useful contributions to its applications. In particular, the EMDR community created the Humanitarian Assistance Program, through which therapists travel to countries around the world where there have been incidents of terrorism, wars, and natural disasters.

A number of years ago, therapists working with children who were in a Mexico City earthquake created the “butterfly hug”, a derivative of one aspect of EMDR. The butterfly hug offers an opportunity for soothing in the presence of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. I teach the butterfly hug to clients, and often talk about it at workshops. Because of the uncertainty we’re all facing these days, and because of the stress generated by our responses to not knowing what will happen next, I’d like to share the butterfly hug here, as well.

This week’s experiment invites you to discover whether the butterfly hug can become a useful tool for you. (It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that none of the suggestions I make in these experiments are intended in any way to take the place of therapy. If you anxiety or fears aren’t settling down, you might consider talking with a professional. Current approaches to treating trauma offer real relief, and that’s a great gift to us all.)

To do the butterfly hug, cross your arms across your chest, as if you were holding yourself, with your right hand resting on your left upper arm and your left hand on your right upper arm. Then, as you experience whatever anxiety or fear you may have, tap alternately – left, right, left, right – at whatever speed you find comfortable. The important thing is that you alternate the taps – one side, then the other. After tapping for a while, stop, take a breath, and notice how you’re feeling. You may be surprised to discover that you’re feeling somewhat calmer. If Just notice that and begin to tap again. If your level of anxiety or fear doesn’t change at all, give yourself some more time with the butterfly hug and see what happens. (No tool works for everyone, so this is truly an experiment to see how whether this something useful to you.) You can do the butterfly hug for as much or little time as you find comfortable, and as many times a day as you feel a need to settle yourself.

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