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Meditations

 

Week 163: Making it Personal
   

Walking through Central Park one morning, I again encountered the dog I’ve written about before – the one who has such a delicious time barking and greeting everyone.  What was different this time is that I asked her name, which is Daisy.  Now that I know Daisy by name, I feel closer to her – or at least more connected when we meet and I can talk to her directly as someone I have met.  In fact, when I see Daisy in now, I call to her by name and she comes running, barking wildly all the way, tail wagging furiously.

The other day, I happened to look out my office window and noticed that Daisy was walking by on the sidewalk across the street.  This time, instead of thinking, “Oh there’s that delightful dog from the park,” I thought, “Oh, there’s Daisy!”  Recognizing her name makes her more “known” or familiar to me in some way I can’t explain, as nothing has changed except that one fact.

My experience with Daisy reminds me of how important it is to be able to call those we encounter by their names.  I believe there are tribes of people – or were in the past – where names were believed to house the person’s soul and were not shared with outsiders because to do so would be to give away one’s power.  In terms of Western society, knowing a person’s name conveys its own kind of power in that it connects us to them in a more direct, experiential way.  I can feel the difference when I walk along and suddenly hear my name being called by someone who wants to say good morning.  In that moment, I’m no longer an anonymous person walking across the park.  Instead, I’m greeting, and being greeted by, someone I know.  It’s still a delight to smile at all the people whose names I don’t know, and who don’t know mine, but there is a different quality when we greet one another by name.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to take the time to ask people their names – the waiter or waitress at a restaurant, the person who waits on you at the dry cleaners, the person who delivers your mail.  Notice how you may be moved to interact with them more consciously and thoughtfully, maybe even more kindly, because they are no longer a stranger.

Use this experiment to play with how it feels to be more connected and less anonymous in your world, to have your world populated by people (and critters!) you know by name.  Notice whether it makes you more or less comfortable to be identifiable to people you encounter in the course of your daily life and allow whatever mixed feelings that may arise.  If you live in a small town where everyone already knows just about everybody else’s names, play with the experiment with people or critters you may not have met personally.  For those of us in big cities, there are many opportunities to ask the names of people we don’t know personally. If you’re accustomed to – and prefer – anonymity, notice the mixed feelings that may well arise when the people you encounter in your daily activities know your name. 

As with all the experiments, allow curiosity and on-judgment to be primary companions along the way.  And, have fun getting to know the people around you!

 

 

 


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