Week Thirty-Five: Choosing Your Thoughts

Sitting in the endodontist’s chair during a root canal this morning, I used a practice I’ve developed over the years for coping with the inevitable medical “stuff” of life. I focused my thoughts on the gratitude I feel for the training the endodontist bothered to get that allowed him to support my health and well-being. I thought about his skill in taking care of my tooth, and his constant attention to my comfort.

During a break in the action, I returned to a book I was reading that explores Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice and its relation to Western science. In the paragraph I was reading, a monk told some Western scientists about how paying attention to the quality and effect of our thoughts allows us to recognize which thoughts cause distress and which increase our happiness and well-being. As I read, it dawned on me that the time I spend thinking of all the ways I am grateful for the training, skill, and support of the medical folks in my life was an example of focusing on thinking that supports a sense of well-being, rather than creating or adding to distress.

For this week’s experiment, I want to invite you to engage in two related processes. First, allow yourself to notice the quality of your thoughts when you’re having a hard time. You may notice that your thoughts actually accentuate or accelerate your distress, rather than relieve it. Also, notice the kind of thoughts you have when you’re feelings okay.

Secondly, experiment with what happens when you think about the positive, constructive, or “possibility” side of things. It can be more challenging to shift gears when you’re afraid or tense, and you may find that there are times you just can’t move into the style of thinking you know helps you feel better. The point of the experiment isn’t to succeed every time. Instead, it’s more about becoming familiar with your habitual styles of thinking and how they affect you. The more familiar you become with the thinking that supports shifting into a state of increased well-being, the more likely it will be that you can draw on it when you really need it.

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