| Week
135: |
Noticing
Fear in “What If” |
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I was at a talk recently, given by an Interfaith minister named August
Gold. During the talk, August focused on the story of a farmer who got
caught up in “what if” thinking – “what if I
don’t have enough water for my crops,” “what if the
stream dries up”, “what if that leads me to lose my farm” – that
kind of thinking. As a result, the farmer created a pond, which the
stream filled to overflowing. When the pond was full, the farmer felt
good, temporarily. Then, the stream automatically rerouted itself around
the pond, so it could continue to flow, and found its way through the
land of a neighboring farm. Soon, the farmer’s pond began to shrink
until it became a stagnant pool, as no fresh water could pour into it
because of the way the stream had rerouted itself.
As I listened to the story, I found myself moved by the power “what
if” thinking has over so many of us. How often do we find ourselves
drifting into future fears by wondering “what if this or that
happens” and then responding as if that dreaded future had actually
become real? Sometimes, we even create bigger problems for ourselves,
as the farmer did, when we take our “what if” thinking into
thoughts that generate real anxiety and unwise action. I can think of
a number of people I’ve talked with over the years whose “what
if” thinking got so extreme that they began to feel immobilized
and filled with the dread of imagined catastrophes entering their lives.
When we’re able to drop completely into the present moment, and
be just with what is, we have a better chance of noticing the options
that actually exist right in front of us. And, when we can be conscious
enough to change “what if” thinking to solution-oriented
thinking – which looks at what’s going right in this moment,
and holds the expectation that things will work out somehow – we
are more likely to generate an attitude of more ease and calm.
For this week’s experiment, I invite you to notice the quality
of your thinking, and to pay particular attention to any thoughts that
derive from “what if”, any thoughts based on fear that look
ahead to what might go wrong. Whenever you notice yourself caught up
in “what if”, invite yourself to drop those thoughts just
as you would close a book mid-sentence. The minute you notice them,
shift your attention, without completing the “what if” thought,
to an awareness of something that’s going right in your world
in that moment. It doesn’t have to be a big deal – just
something that’s in place as you need it to be, or touches you
in a way that feels good. The goal is to develop the habit of shifting
away from “what if” thinking – which is based on fear
and lack – and to move, instead, into an attitude of possibility.
As with any habit, it takes time to move away from this kind of thinking,
so be gentle with yourself each time you discover that you’ve
fallen into “what if” thinking. Notice the quality of your
internal being as you shift from “what if” to present-moment
thinking. The “right here and now” brand of thinking offers
a possibility of seeing options that’s absent in the “what
if” style. Explore what it’s like to feel the body state
that accompanies an awareness of options, as compared to how your
body feels when you’re gripped in the fear of “what if.” And,
keep in mind that you’re building new psychological muscle as
you shift from “what if” to being here and now. As with
any other muscle building, it takes practice and time – and a
willingness to keep at it even when you may not be in the mood.
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