Walking to the park the other day, I encountered a bitter wind and freezing temperatures. A couple of blocks into the walk, I found myself saying, “I can’t make it all the way across. It’s too cold.” But, I just kept trudging along, as my ear muffs were in place, my cheeks were holding out and my hat stayed on my head. As soon as I entered Central Park, I noticed that the wind was gone and it was warmer – much more comfortable for walking.

As I became aware of the shift in the temperature and wind conditions, I also realized that I would have missed my walk across the park – my favorite time of the day – had I listened to my initial feelings of “I can’t”. For whatever reason, I hadn’t registered the fact that the wind tends lessen in the park, compared to the force of wind that blows along the avenues that run up and down Manhattan. This new recognition got me to wondering how many other times during a day I stop myself from doing something before I even try. I’m not a fan of the idea of pushing ourselves no matter what, but I am curious about how often many of us might stop ourselves when going ahead would be fine after all.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to begin to notice where you stop yourself with thoughts such as “It’s too hard,” “I don’t know how to do that,” “I’ll never be able to finish this,” etc. These thoughts may come up around something as mundane as my walk across the park, or they may emerge when you’re faced with a job interview that frightens you because it’s a stretch into new capacities and responsibilities. The actual issue you face isn’t as important as the moment when you become aware of a thought or response that holds you back.

Then, as a second part of the experiment, notice what happens if you choose to go ahead and do whatever it is you’ve told yourself you can’t do. Obviously, it’s not a good idea to push yourself into something that would be dangerous or truly is beyond your capacity, and that’s not what I’m suggesting in this experiment. But, moving just a bit beyond the “I can’t” place can reveal whether or not the next step really is as hard as you thought it would be.
As with all other experiments, allow curiosity to be your companion as you explore possibilities you might otherwise have stopped yourself from engaging. Remember, the point here isn’t to force yourself to accomplish something in particular. It’s to notice the places where you stop, and to offer yourself more opportunities to get to know those places – ultimately, to give you a greater range of choice in the future.
Click Here for Other Weeks in This Series:

Home Page