On my walk to my office the other day, I noticed a woman sitting on the street, holding up a sign that said “homeless, please help.”  I started to walk by and then turned back and handed her a dollar.  As I did, her cell phone rang and she answered it, beginning a conversation with her caller.  As I continued to walk to work, I had two tracks of feelings going on.  On the one hand, I was sorry that this woman had to sit on the street as a way to take care of herself, and I hoped that she could soon have easier circumstances in her life.  At the same time, I found myself laughing at the irony of handing her a dollar so she could buy food at the exact moment she answered her cell phone, which had been tucked in a pocket. She’s the first homeless person I’ve encountered  who had a cell phone, so her action took me by surprise.  I found myself both laughing at, and paying attention to, the presence of a surprise I hadn’t expected..

The experience got me to thinking about our relationship with surprise – with how we go into experiences with certain assumptions and then life offers us something unexpected.  I assumed the woman had absolutely no resources, given that she was sitting on the street asking for money.  To see her with a cell phone gave me a moment of coming face to face with my preconceptions and allowed me to realize how often these preconceptions are inaccurate.  Spending a dollar for such an important reminder seemed a very reasonable fee!

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to pay attention to those places where your preconceptions, assumptions and expectations don’t actually match the reality unfolding in your experience.  Then, when you can identify these contents of your thought process, notice what happens if you allow the surprise of discovering them be the first step in letting them go.  As we release our preconceptions, we come closer to experiencing curiosity as our constant companion. 

Also, play with what happens if you bring a light touch to this experiment.  Often, we hold our beliefs and assumptions as if they were precious treasures and we are sometimes loathe to let them go, even if they are proven inaccurate in a most definite way.

That said, this doesn’t mean we want to give up the capacity to practice discernment and recognize when reality does confirm our expectations.  Instead, these moments offer an opportunity to notice how many times those expectations may be off the mark and how important it is to live lightly with what may be dearly-held assumptions.

As you play with this experiment, remember to leave self-criticism and self-judgment behind, or gently tap these kinds of judgments on the head when they arise and refocus your awareness on the surprise in front of you.  Curiosity is a more reliable companion on this journey, as surprise can be delightful as well as unnerving, depending on what it is and how you engage it.  In this experiment, surprise is a teacher, a moment of awakening to something we hadn’t expected, recognized or understood a moment before.