I was talking with the man who does my hair and he told me a story that moved me so much.  He talked about what he does when a client comes in and tells him she will need chemotherapy.  First, he offers to go along with her to find a wig, if that’s what she wants.  He then invites her to bring some of her closest friends and a bottle of champagne for a hair-cutting party.  He then takes a good bit of time to cut her hair in stages – a couple of inches at a time – until her head is ready to be shaved in preparation for the chemotherapy. 

He invites her to do the first part of the shaving, giving her control over what unfolds in the final part of the process.  Then, everyone has a champagne toast to her new look.  As a trauma therapist, I was deeply moved by the way in which this carefully choreographed process reduces the trauma so many people experience when their hair begins to fall out and the kindness of this man to have the sensitivity and compassion that allow him to offer such a meaningful experience to his clients.

That got me to thinking about all the unknown and unrecognized kindnesses we do for each other every day in so many ways and how very creative we can be when we invite ourselves to go out of the box into previously-unanticipated possibilities.  I’m thinking about someone I know who works in hospice, and the ways in which she offers support to people in truly arduous situations.  She has told me stories of offering her time to go shopping or eat dinner with a stressed-out spouse or relative and the ease that her presence can offer.  It’s not that she does a great deal – it’s that she’s there.

For this week’s experiment, I invite you to notice stories you hear of people who offer these kinds of creative, kind options to people – or to notice when you offer something to someone that makes a difference in an unexpected way.  The key ingredients here are kindness and compassion – a capacity to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  When we’re able to understand the experience of another, we have a better sense of what would make a real difference.

As with all the experiments, there aren’t any right or wrong answers here.  The key is to be aware of the moments in any given day – or special stories that come your way – that embody the kindness and awareness of the experience of another person.

As you listen for inspiring stories this week and notice how they touch you when you run across them, pay particular attention to the sensations in your body, allowing yourself to enjoy whatever good feelings may arise. These kinds of stories may be found on the radio, TV, in conversations with friends.  The important thing is to notice the impact on the quality of your daily experience when you focus on increasing your awareness of acts of kindness and compassion.