I was met with a challenge the other day that reminded me of the benefits of using mindfulness practice as a part of everyday life.  Someone asked me to do something that isn’t my favorite thing to do and, as I engaged the activity, it became more tolerable as I made it part of my mindfulness practice.  Instead of grumbling, I held the thought that the unwelcome activity was one more opportunity for me to observe my thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and urges, and to practice just letting whatever arose move through and move on.  It became yet another way to practice “no struggle” and “softening” right here and right now.

The experience got me to thinking about the endless opportunities offered to each of us every day to notice our internal responses, habits of mind, and ways we increase our own discomfort and suffering when life asks us to do things we don’t like but can’t be avoided.

And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to bring mindfulness even more constantly into your everyday activities.  The particular emphasis for this experiment is to use whatever the day may bring your way as a support for your practice.  For example, if you run into a stressful situation, the situation itself – and the thoughts, feelings and physical responses it triggers – becomes a support for noticing, allowing, and simply observing the process within you as it arises, moves through, and then moves on.

In my practice as a psychotherapist, I ask clients to be aware of how they add logs to the bonfire of an upset.  For example, let’s say someone says something that upsets or insults you.  There’s a choice point as soon as this happens.  You can either notice that you’re upset and allow the response to move through, or you can begin to pile logs on that original “fire” of activation in a couple of ways:  you might think about how awful the person is and how terrible it was that they said something like this to you; you might go through all the other insults you’ve received in your life and add fuel to your emotional distress; you might feed tension by thinking that this shouldn’t have happened to you, or reminding yourself of all the things you don’t like about this person. 

Another choice is to notice that you’re triggered and to get curious about how the initial upset can move through if you don’t add anything to it.  You might become interested in noticing how you intensify your own upset, without adding any judgment to that noticing.  You might also become curious as to why this particular experience disturbed you so, without giving that curiosity a lot of energy.  There’s a kind of “hovering” curiosity that doesn’t add anything but allows you to notice what’s connected to your upset.

Most of us have a habit of “adding fuel to the fire” when we get activated or triggered by something, and this week’s experiment can support a shift in old habits into a more regulated and centered experience of everyday life.

As with all the experiments, please play with this one without any judgment.  Curiosity continues to be your best companion, along with a good sense of humor about the often strenuous experience of being human.