I’ve been reading a book lately, called “Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain”, by Sharon Begley.  It’s one of the new crop of books on brain plasticity – about the how the brain is able to change in ways we used to think were impossible.  One of the subjects Ms. Begley explores is the area of attachment, and she writes about research that’s been done to increase people’s capacity for compassion and care of others. 

In one experiment, when researchers exposed participants to words of comfort, such as “support, love, help”, people shifted into a state that reflected a way of being that is spontaneously lived by people who grew up with what’s called “secure attachment”.  These are people whose caregivers were consistently available, predictable, and accurately attuned to them when they were children.  People with secure attachment tend to feel safe in the world, comfortable with themselves, and generally able to notice and respond to the needs of others in compassionate ways.  People who have had less-optimal kinds of attachment experiences in childhood tend to be more self-involved, feel less safe in the world – or more alone - and also tend to be less emotionally responsive to the needs of others.  Because of the temporary shifts in the direction of eliciting compassion in these people who didn’t have secure beginnings, researchers are now intrigued by the possibility of helping people who had challenging childhoods shift in a more permanent way in the direction of feeling more secure and safe in the world and, thereby, having a greater capacity for truly compassionate responses to others. 

One of the major resources in my life and my psychotherapy practice over many years has been to invite myself and others to turn within and find sources of comfort and support.  These sources may be spiritual, as in the presence of a Beloved or some other spiritual figure.  They may draw on parts of the self, as with the optimal future self, which is a wiser, more-evolved aspect of oneself that can reach back through time and offer comfort and support along the way.  These resources may involve a sense of connection with the natural world, where one may turn for solace and comfort.

For me, personally, I have long imagined and experienced the presence of a supportive “other” – my optimal future self - who is available to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, to speak comforting words into my ear, or to give me a preview of a more centered body state whenever the need may arise.  I also experience a supportive spiritual presence “at my back”, as it were – always with me, guiding me and supporting me.  These experiences of comfort and support have changed my internal experience in ways large and small. These internal representations of sources of help and support have had quite an impact on what was my old, anxious way of being in the world and have offered me a capacity to soothe myself in ways that weren’t as readily available when I was younger. 

Having read about the research in Begley’s book offered me a way to understand what has happened in my own internal experience over these years and brought the following experiment to mind.  And so, for this week’s experiment, I invite you to pay attention to the images, people, beings, ideas, and other sources of inspiration that touch you with a sense of ease and comfort when you bring them to mind.  Then, I invite you to spend some time each day simply thinking about, imagining, or being present to these sources of inspiration, as a meditation.  Perhaps you only have five minutes in a day to give to this experiment.  That’s fine.  The key here is to tune into sources of inspiration and comfort each day.  Then, offer yourself brief moments throughout the day to return to your awareness of these sources of comfort and inspiration and notice what happens to your state of mind and being when you spend a few moments with your experience.

For this experiment, pay attention, as well, to the sensations in your body as you tune into sources of inspiration and comfort.  When you notice comfortable or settled sensations, take some time simply to experience them – to rest your awareness with them and notice what happens in your body.  Then, later in the day, or at some other time when you feel stressed, you can reconnect with these sensations by bringing the image or thought of the comforting presence to mind.  When we repeatedly tap into experiences of comfort and ease in the body, these states tend to deepen in our ongoing awareness.

As with all the experiments, please engage this one with curiosity.  Be sure to let go of any “shoulds” or “supposed to’s” that may emerge and to allow yourself to tap into whatever offers you a sense of support, comfort and help as you move through the activities of your daily life.