Walking through Central Park one morning last week, I passed a homeless man standing by the side of the path, staring in front of him away from where everyone was walking, and having an intense conversation with someone only he could see. He talked about getting old and how the person he was addressing needed to understand the importance and impact of getting old. He wasn’t ranting. Instead, he was having an urgent, earnest and meaningful conversation that he appeared to care about a great deal.

As I walked by, I filled up with a sense of how our need for connection with others expresses itself even when we don’t have others around. I wondered how long his conversation might last, and whether it would satisfy his need to express himself and be understood. For this man, the need for connection found its expression in his morning talk with someone he imagined (or, at least I think he imagined the person – who knows for sure?).

The image of this man stayed with me as I walked, and I began to think about the people with whom I’m connected, and how those relationships nourish me on so many different levels. I thought about the ways I stay in contact with my them, even when we’re all too busy to see one another as often as we’d like, how some of us leave each other regular phone messages saying hello, “I love you”, and generally offering blessings and good wishes for the day. I also thought about a couple of elderly people in my life and how I write them a card once a month, every month, no matter what, as a way to stay in touch and let them know I’m thinking about them, even when my life gets too busy for me to visit them in person because they live so far away. I also thought about how e-mail allows me to stay in touch with friends and loved ones who go on-line and who may not live within geographical range of an easy get-together in person. Our e-mail catch-ups allow us to feel part of one another’s everyday lives even as miles and life’s demands stretch between those special in-person times together.

Also, notice how nourishing it is to be understood by someone you care about and who cares about you. This is such an important part of our connection with others, be they family, friends, members of our spiritual or volunteer community – whoever they may be, from whatever context. We find with them a place where we can rest as we are, being who we are. What an amazing gift that is in a life that is so often filled with demands and deadlines, and often with the need for us to be in our public or work selves.

For this week’s experiment, then, I invite you to think about the connections in your life and notice where you actively nurture them or where you may inadvertently ignore them or overlook their importance to you and your well-being. What are the particular ways you, your family and friends stay in touch? How do you reach out to people you can’t see as often as you might like to see them? Where are the areas in your life that feel lonely or isolated, and what might you do to fill in those needed connections? Also, how might you reach out even more than you do already, if that would be meaningful to you and those close to you?

As you do this experiment, keep in mind that it’s not about numbers. It’s about the quality of connections you have in your life, and about having some people with whom you can feel comfortably yourself, where you can feel understood, as well as understanding. And, connection doesn’t always have to be just with other people. You may feel connected to an animal companion of whatever sort, and perhaps nature is your deepest, most comfortable home. If these are sources of deepest connection to you, notice how you nurture these, how they touch you, and how you give them your time, attention, and care.