I have a tree in my living room – it’s a Norfolk pine – and it’s lived with me for many years.  Over the years it has gotten larger and larger and now has quite a broad reach.  It grows by creating a little more trunk, then putting out five branches that remind me of evergreen palm fronds.  Over time, the trunk extends itself and the new branches emerge, larger and larger.  Each time it puts out a new set of branches, its reach broadens, and it moves farther out into its environment.

Whenever I see one of these new sets of branches emerge from the top of the tree, I’m reminded of the impetus for growth that lives in all of us.  The constant presence of the tree, with its inevitable new growth, offers a way to be touch into the process of how, if we allow ourselves to do so, we spontaneously reach out beyond our previous comfort zone, beyond our previous reach – the process of how we then settle into where we are and, sometime later, we again begin to stretch into the next new experience or development. 

From where I sit, the tree seems to be perfectly comfortable putting out new branches and extending its reach.  It may have its own internal processes that constitute a challenge – which will definitely arise in its spatial relationship to my living room if it gets too much bigger – but I don’t experience it as being engaged in any kind of struggle with its tendency to grow.  For us humans, though, it can be a different kind of experience.  We often can’t help but respond to an internal urge to stretch into new learnings and opportunities.  At the same time, though, we may discover that this urge to stretch has taken us out of our comfort zone.  And, it can be decidedly uncomfortable to be outside what we have come to know as familiar.

I remember when I first confronted my speaking anxiety, many years ago, and how overwhelming it felt to stretch into the experience of standing in front of an audience and talking.  I was one of those people who simply wanted to die the night before a talk, as I experienced waves of dread moving from my feet and up through my whole body throughout the entire night.  When I look back on that time from the vantage point of today, it’s hard to imagine I was ever so afraid of speaking in front of people.  It’s become a very comfortable activity for me and I have to be speaking in a really new and unusual context to feel any of that old anxiety.  With all that, current stretches into activities and experiences I haven’t mastered in the present can bring a familiar flutter of nervous discomfort along the way.  At least I now know that some discomfort comes with the territory of stretching, so I don’t give it much by way of meaning.   I reassure myself with the certain knowledge that the discomfort is temporary and will pass as I become more familiar with the new territory.

For this week’s experiment, I invite you to explore your relationship with stretching and moving beyond your comfort zone.  Notice how you interpret your discomfort when you start something new.  Are you someone who feels you should be comfortable when stretching into new experience or that there is something wrong with you if you aren’t?  Or, do you recognize that anything new can bring both curiosity/delight *and* nervousness?  It’s important to know that having fear or discomfort doesn’t mean the stretch is a bad one.  Along with the excitement of exploration and discovery, there can also be feelings of trepidation and caution.  Mixed feelings are an inevitable part of moving into new capacities and experiences, even when we really want to achieve these shifts.  Actually, there are as many ways to move in and out of our comfort zones as there are people.  Perhaps the most important piece, for me, is to remember that it’s normal and natural to have some discomfort in the process and to remember that it’s most usual to arrive at a new level of comfort at some point along the way.  And, as with the tree in my living room, you will have extended yourself into your internal and/or external environment in some meaningful way.