| Week
160: |
The Gifts of Challenge |
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This week’s experiment is related to the one we just explored,
and revisits something we’ve done before. Life constantly
offers us challenges and difficulties, blocks our movement forward
with unexpected demands, and generally offers us opportunity after
opportunity to rise to the occasion and draw on deeper reserves
of strength and resilience.
A number of years ago, I lived in an apartment
that was owned by a man who was difficult and uncooperative in the
extreme. In
fact, he made it onto the “worst landlord in New York City” list
of a popular newspaper. To say that living in his building was
a challenge puts it mildly, as having heat and hot water, or electricity
in the building, was never guaranteed. I recall waking up one
night when it was raining hard and discovered that water was pouring
in through the space between the living room wall and where the windows
were installed. I also discovered water liberally flowing from
the ceiling onto the floor. This night was my introduction to
what my life was going to be like in that particular apartment.
By the time I moved, gratefully, I must say,
I was friends with everyone in the building – we had become a tight group, helping
one another through the various challenges that came from living there. I
also had developed a resilience in the presence of difficulty that
I hadn’t even realized was lacking in me when I first moved
into that apartment. That ripples from that experienced have
served me since then in ways I never would have predicted, and
have taught me to look more closely at challenges as powerful,
real-time teachers.
For this week’s experiment, I invite you to treat whatever
challenges or difficulties – or even glitches – that come
your way as beneficial teachers, and to be curious about what you
will learn as you move through these experiences. Remember that
whatever we fend off tends to push back at us even more strongly,
so it’s useful to keep in mind what we’ve been exploring
about “being water.” Whatever comes your way, allow
yourself to find the way through it that allows you to stay in the
flow and to build whatever psychological “muscle” the
experience requires you to develop. One of the unexpected gifts
I got from my time in the building I described was a more readily-available
and robust sense of humor about myself in the presence of the often-ridiculous
events life presents along the way. Even with dramatic and heart-wrenching
events, I’ve noticed that I have access to a more accessible
resilience – one that developed during that time of almost-constant
challenge.
As with all our experiments, please bring curiosity
and a light touch to this one. Use it to notice how you move through challenge, and
whether you focus on what is hard or what you can do to learn from it. Remember,
there’s never a right or a wrong answer or way to do this. There’s
just another opportunity to discover how you move through experience – and
a chance to try out some different responses, if you choose to do so.
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